10 Ways to Fight Back!

Avoid Being Attacked, Avoid Becoming A Victim

“Girl raped in a police booth.”
“Woman beaten up by her husband.”
“Teenager kidnapped and molested in a running car.”

Reading the newspapers, studying the news, a general awareness of your environment leaves one with the knowledge that for a female (country, culture, religion, age no bar) it is very important to be able to defend herself. Aggression and violence towards women are on the increase and I do believe it’s a good idea to learn to look after and protect oneself. No bones about it, its frightening to be attacked!

The situation

Case study - myself.

I remember the first time I was groped at by a man. I was all of thirteen and walking towards an aunt’s house through an alleyway, when this man passed me. After overtaking me, he turned around as if he had forgotten something and started to walk back towards me. I remember my instincts warned me, but I also remember feeling a tad foolish, maybe I was just over reacting. Before I knew it he was beside me and had started groping me. Its hard to forget the total shock and horror that I felt. The inertia I went into. I was revolted, outraged, sickened and most of all furious. But I could not do anything. My body refused to obey my mind. He left after his furtive efforts. I still cant remember how long he took, what remains in my mind even now is my inability to mangle him by the balls and see him dead. I hope he dies a painful death anyways.

Coming back to the issue in hand, research indicates that two out of every five victims go through this shock-induced numbness, draining them of any resistance during an attack. Nobody can tell you whether to fight back or remain passive in any given situation, especially when a weapon is involved. Therefore, all the more important is to understand the dangers of the situation, swing out of this inertia and act fast.

It’s a good idea to discourage would be attackers and the following tips by experts suggest ways to avoid becoming a victim, followed by strategies if you are attacked.

Reduce the chances of being a victim by following these rules:

1. Acknowledge that it could happen to you. It’s amazing how people live in blissful oblivion regardless of what is happening around them. The sooner you admit this fact, the safer you will be. Being prepared empowers you.

2. Body language is very important. Gone are the days when girls where expected to walk two steps behind a man, with the head down and her body language screaming subjugation. Ok maybe that’s going into extremes but you understand what I mean. Always walk with a strong sense of purpose, with your head erect. Look and act confident. Make sure that your body language does not proclaim you an easy “walkover”.

3. Avoid walking alone if possible. If work entails your traversing through sparsely populated areas make sure to stay on well-lit streets (is the municipal corporation listening?) even if it means walking that extra mile. If you think you are being followed, it’s a good idea to approach another person for help. If nobody is around, head for bright lights or cross the street.

4. If you see someone watching you, make brief eye contact and look away. Let them know you have seen them and are aware of their presence. But don’t get overtly aggressive by engaging in staring sessions.

5. If you drive, always lock your car doors as soon as you step into the car. Do not approach your vehicle if it feels wrong. Intuition is very real, don’t be afraid to believe in it.

6. Look in the backseat before you get in your car and also check under the car as you approach it.

7. Keep handy weapons if traveling alone in cabs, rickshaws etc. A swiss knife is the best, a pepper spray can also works wonders but the humble set of keys also make for a good weapon! You can use them to stab into the eyes, nose, crotch or any accessible area of the attacker.

8. In the Asian social set up its very common that somebody or the other is always aware of your whereabouts. More so if you are a woman! Still, it’s a good idea to tell someone where you will be, when you plan to play hooky/working or partying late into the night.

9. Avoid wearing headphones when you are alone, outside home. From the safety point of view listening to music means you can’t hear an attacker coming.

10. Trust your instincts! Any situation that makes you uncomfortable, any encounter that sends the warning bells ringing – listen to your inner radar and get out of it. Don’t be averse to being rude. Remember the old adage, “better safe than sorry”

I was sharing these insights with a young friend who said its too much of a hassle. In reply I almost smiled because it is a typical reaction isn’t it? Truth be told most of us are under the impression that such incidents don’t happen to us, or to the people we know. Its convenient to exist in this false sense of security but to make it a reality isn’t it more important to snap out of this cocoon of obliviousness?

Common sense says that its better to be prepared because life does have a habit of catching us unawares. So in case you are assaulted, check out the following details for a safer you.

What to do if you are attacked

Scream your guts out immediately! Before he gags you, yell/screech/shriek your loudest and keep on at it. This can surprise or frighten an attacker and shift the balance of power in your favour, because chances are that he will fear people might come to assist you. Why not think up a word (in the local lingo) that will elicit an immediate response. In fact I think it might be a good idea to put on the thinking hat right away!

No one can tell you whether passive or active resistance is the best course of action. Think in advance about what you might do in a threatening situation, so that you can better and more calmly evaluate your options. Assess the situation as it is happening. If the first strategy does not work, be prepared to have a backup strategy.

Statistically, if you are being robbed and the robber wants you to go to a more secluded location, you do not return. So don’t believe whatsoever he says, remain in the same place, your chances of surviving the ordeal are more.

A forceful struggle may also discourage the attacker and give you an opportunity to escape. All blows or kicks, however, must be forceful and aimed at vulnerable areas. The face is the most vulnerable and easiest target for our elbows and fingers. Go for the eyes, palms to the nose and ram the knee towards the groin.

There is a possibility that passive resistance may serve to help diffuse the violence of the attacker. It may also serve to empower some attackers. Damning as it might be, you have to judge the situation and evaluate the response.

Claim to have AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease!

In conclusion

After going through these safety tactics, I get the feeling that self defense is more about an attitude than any specific technique of kicking or punching. The attitude of self confidence, awareness and purpose often will take you from the realm of being a possible victim to being ‘too much trouble’ for an assailant.

Which doesn’t negate the importance of learning a self-defence art form. Lets be honest, not everyone of us can be all of that, all the time. Some yes, but there are some who may be candidates for assault. For those and more it’s a good idea to join up a class and learn how to defend yourself.

Interestingly, the trend shows that when women start self-defense classes, a lot of them are a bit reticent and wary of delivering a punch or hitting out confidently. Its another story when they are finishing the course, however! By the time they make the grade they sail out of the institute in flurry of blows and kicks that leave the men who act as dummy’s thankful for the protecting pads!

Experts in the arts of self-defence stress that if you are attacked and choose to fight back, you should fight like your life depends on it. Most probably it does. It might also make the attacker think twice before victimizing somebody else.